What revision would most improve sentence 7 in the conclusion …

English Questions

Read the rough draft of a student√¢¬Ä¬ôs conclusion to an argumentative editorial. (1) Year-round schooling would help student achievement. (2) Not so much information would have to be crammed into nine months. (3) Furthermore, the elimination of long breaks, particularly summer break, would significantly reduce “learning loss√¢¬Ä¬ù and the additional time wasted at the beginning of each academic year to reteach previously learned material. (4) It is clear that year-round schooling helps students learn and retain more. (5) The United States is not the only country to experiment with a year-round school schedule. (6) Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, these people need to open their eyes and see that students in these schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. (7) It is about time that we replaced our outdated and inefficient school calendars. Which revision would most improve sentence 7?

Short Answer

To enhance the argument for year-round schooling, first identify issues with current school calendars, such as long summer breaks and inflexibility for diverse learning needs. Then, incorporate evidence supporting year-round schooling, highlighting its benefits like improved academic performance. Finally, revise the sentence for clarity and impact, ensuring it compellingly calls for a change.

Step-by-Step Solution

To effectively enhance sentence 7 of the editorial, follow these three steps to make the argument for year-round schooling more compelling.

Step 1: Identify the Issues with Current Calendars

Begin by pinpointing what makes the current school calendars outdated and inefficient. This could involve examining aspects such as:

  • Long summer breaks leading to learning loss.
  • Inflexibility for students with diverse learning needs.
  • Mismatch with today’s educational demands and societal changes.

Step 2: Incorporate Evidence Supporting Year-Round Schooling

Next, strengthen the argument by including evidence that supports the advantages of year-round schooling. You can refer to studies or statistics that highlight:

  • Improved academic performance in year-round systems.
  • Increased retention of information and skills among students.
  • Greater opportunities for enriching activities throughout the year.

Step 3: Revise the Sentence for Clarity and Impact

Finally, rewrite the sentence to incorporate these insights. A revised version should effectively communicate the need for change. For example:

  • “Given the evidence linking year-round schooling with higher academic performance, it is imperative that we reconsider and revamp our outdated, traditional nine-month school calendars that hinder our educational progress.”

This revision clarifies the argument while maintaining a strong and persuasive tone.

Related Concepts

Issues

The problems or challenges associated with current school calendars that make them ineffective or unsuitable for contemporary educational needs.

Evidence

Data or research findings that demonstrate the benefits of year-round schooling and support the argument for changing traditional school schedules.

Clarity

The quality of being clear and easily understood in communication, which is essential for making an argument impactful and persuasive.

Scroll to Top